Ten years, looking back, it doesn’t seem that it was that long. Looking toward the next ten years seems an eternity. So what now? It seems so much has happened in the last ten year, which is good from the point of view that if nothing happened, it would have been boring and I wouldn’t be writing this. There were highs and lows. We saw planes take down the towers, we saw a war start, but not yet end. Tsunami’s, volcanos, floods, hurricanes, the best and worst in humans were shown. It’s all now part of our history. Some things will be entered into our collective history books, some into our scrapbooks and the rest will fade into obscurity or completely forgotten.
As our world saw many changes, it was the same for myself as well. In the past ten years I was employed by nine different business. Some overlapped, some didn’t last very long or were seasonal and some where just part-time jobs to bring in extra cash. I’ve worked everything from fast food, to dry cleaners. I’ve been a video editor and director to an editors assistant at a porn broadcasting company to security work. We have moved seven times in the last 10 years. The last time was to move into our new home we recently bought this summer. I joined a community theater so I would get off my lazy butt and became a serving board member as well. I was an actor, a director and the tech director. In that same decade I left the theater after getting burned out by it. But in that time, I enjoyed helping out on many great shows.
I have never really been all that religious. I was baptised Catholic and that was about it. In 2002, my wife and I volunteered at the local Methodist Church. She helped to get slides ready for the Sunday service and I ran the sound board for the vocal group and service. It was fun, but hypocrisy, which should be a mortal sin, reared it’s ugly head. We were told that we were part of the team, but we ended up being left behind. It so happened that I got a job that would require me to work weekends so it was easy for us to leave. Nothing much really happened on that month until a few months ago. There is a church called the “Westboro Baptist Church.” These people hate almost everything in this world it seems, except themselves. I used to get so angry at them, as did others. Church should be about loving one another, but not for these folks. It finally dawned on me that fighting anger and hate with anger and hate is doing no one any good. I wanted to do something positive this time, but what. After much searching and researching, I decided learn Buddhism. I have learned more about kindness and how to care for people in these past few months, that I did during the two years at the Methodist Church. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t listening at the time or the sermons weren’t relevant to me, who knows. I do know that I am learning how to be truly happy and it is my hope that I can teach others as well.
I am the kind of person who doesn’t have many close friends. My wife being the closest. My last real close friend and I parted ways back in late 98. That happens, we all have our own lives and it’s difficult to make things work out between people. I am, however, grateful for the people I have met, both in person and on the net. I wish you guys lived a little closer to Colorado. At least there is Skype and facebook and the ever wishing the we could win the lottery so we can just travel.
We look back and we say, there is no way that ten years has gone by already or I was so different, so naive, I’m much more mature now. The thing of it then is that you and I will be saying that ten years from now too. You’ll say that, “A few years ago, I would have imagined that I would be do “this” at all, but here I am.” I never thought I would write a blog, or Haiku, or enjoy learning about a religion or becoming friends with someone on the internet or many other things that is now believable.
So what now?
We can make our plans. I want to go to the UK, I want to be a historian, I want my music to be popular and I want to be better than I am now. We all have our wishes and dreams. We also have to keep in mind that we could die today and our plans will never happen. I have found it useful to strive for something better and know things will never turn out as we would want them to. I look forward to the next ten years, no matter what happens and I hope you do too.